Perspective...

Last week I had a discussion with a friend of mine about how perspective changes as you get older...how things that just seemed typical 10, 5, even 2 years ago now just seem silly. This weekend I realized just how true that is.

On Sunday afternoon I lost a memory card from my camera. It had a lot of pictures on it that I will never be able to get back again...from my trip up North, from Mother's day, from the fire down the road from my church, from my siblings plays, from my little sister's last showcase assembly, and lastly every picture from the YSA conference I went to this weekend. I felt really sad, and I'm going to be missing these pictures for a long time.

Sunday evening I was hanging out with some friends and there were some comments made that, although not meant that way, felt very insenstive, and it hit me wrong. I was hurt, and confused. I didn't know why this was happening. I let it affect me more than I wish I had, and it got to me.

I was sad about losing my memory card, hurt by what was said, and even though I was surrounded by friends I felt lonely. It was a tough night...or at least it felt that way at the time.

Monday I was doing what I could to get past all of those feelings, knowing it was only me that was holding me back from having a good time. I felt like I was acting for much of the day, but eventually, after doing enough pretending, I really did start to feel better.

On Monday night, on our way back from the West the roads were wet. We were going around a corner, hit it wrong, lost control, crossed traffic, and hit a mountain. In a split second my perspective was changed drastically.

I will never forget the feeling that I had as I was looking over to see if everyone else was ok. In that moment it didn’t matter what had been said, what had hurt me…it only mattered that we were all alive. As I was beginning to look across the car to see how everyone else was all I could see was the hood that was bent up, the boulder on top of it, and how close we were to the cliff, and I felt like I couldn’t even look, I was so scared to see what shape everyone was in.

When I saw that we were all ok I wanted to cry, and laugh, and hug everyone. I was so overcome with emotion. I realized how much each one of those men meant to me. The bond of friendship there is incredible, and I am so blessed to have each one of them in my life.

These last couple of days have been super emotional and full of gratitude for me. I am so grateful for my family, my friends, my life, my job, the beautiful place that I live, and the knowledge that I have of my purpose in life.

Perspective really is everything. All of a sudden the little things just don’t matter as much. I can feel pain which means I’m alive. I can hear my friend’s concern for me, which means I’m not alone. I can eat dinner with my family, which means I am loved…and I am looking forward to many more years of feeling this way.

<3 Always!